trust.

the first definition that comes up for trust through an online dictionary is this:

"reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence."

it seems to me like the quest for trust is only getting more difficult in the sense that it's getting harder and harder to trust people these days. maybe that's because as the days pass us by we are getting smarter and more mature through experience with trust and this experience provides us with more of a clue in on how and who to trust. i've learned that trust comes with an invisible warning label. it reads "caution: guard your heart"

have you ever realized how sacred your life really is? i mean seriously, it's YOUR life no other humans and it is dictated by 1. God and 2. you. not everyone allows God to run their life but ultimately He is the one in charge. He made you and He will take you according to His plan for you. mankind can never hold the power that God does, some think they can and try but sorry folks - a laughable long shot. a lot of people don't trust God for whatever reasons they may have. remember what Jesus said to comfort His disciples:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

i feel that when we don't have God in our lives we have many voids... holes like swiss cheese! i hear fellow Christians claim that when you have God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit in your life, TRULY in your life, then there are no voids. i believe it but i don't feel it - yet at least - and i want it more than anything. our bodies must be of a home for the Holy Spirit to enter, live and dwell. i am in the process of a clean house sweep, a remodeling of the temple God granted me which i have highly abused throughout my life and i never even really thought of these concepts until i began to walk close with the Lord. i was just so use to worldy ways of living and coping through addiction - or rather numbing through it - that i didn't even realize this entire time i have been hurting God and shutting the front door of the temple HE created specifically for me - in His face. slam ... while i selfishly jepordized and took advantage of my temple while breaking it down. a home can only hold up so long. it requires upkeep and for this kind of home God is the upkeep. how can He get in though when the door is being slammed shut? and who wants to live in a house of havoc anyways? God will not come in when there is sin for sin is not of God and upsets Him. in Genesis 6 it describes how the wickedness of the world through fall of man to sin broke His heart. this passage always upsets me for Him:

" 5 The LORD saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. 6 The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain." Genesis 6:5-6

sure makes you think right? sure makes me feel. i most certainly do not want to keep Him out or go out according to sin that sabotages my salvation. for it is written:

"When I tell righteous people that they will live, but then they sin, expecting their past righteousness to save them, then none of their righteous acts will be remembered. I will destroy them for their sins." Ezekiel 33:13

therefore, repentance is important. it's crucial. it's critical like the breath you breathe - repentance is just as important. God is a loving Lord who forgives snd because of Christ's cruxifiction are sins can be history and our lives through Christ can be victory!

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

this house needs many repairs but faith and trust in God gives me hope that if i continue to let go and let God He will come through as my Holy Handyman and restore and renew what has been broken.

it is hard to trust mankind but it shouldn't be hard to trust God. He wants nothing but the best for us and His intentions are always pure... the intentions and motives of mankind are not always pure and honestly can't always be trusted. with that being said, i am trying more to keep to myself and close Christian friends while living for the Lord so i can live WITH the Lord.

i will leave you with a powerful passage - the kind we should all live by - that was sent to me yesterday under confused conditions. i now understand the message i missed while being caught in my own head.

"11 Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

may this message reach you too and may we all live lives according to what's most pleasing to God.