submission.

submission:

why is it so easy to submit to the world

yet so hard to truly submit to the Lord?

Romans 6:6

Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?

i listened to an amazing sermon on the Christian radio this morning. the sermon teaching got me thinking about obedience to the Lord. the preacher touched on topics of sin, submission and if our hearts are truly in line with the Lord. he mentioned the hypocrisy of, for example, going to church and singing praise to the Lord while your mind is thinking about OTHER THINGS, things other than the Lord. i call this the double road mind, you've got your thoughts and priorities driving in 2 different directions instead of taking a one way street to meet and greet God... and God only. instead it seems like most people are sinning, like above, instead of submitting.

today's teacher said something that struck me. he said, "sin is suicide to the heart." - it doesn't get more blunt than this. that is the real deal right there wrapped up in six shocking words. wouldn't it be beautiful to quit and just submit? to fully surrender and trust in the Lord? to give Him our ALL and by that i mean EVERYTHING just as He desires? just as He deserves... i can speak for myself and say that i want this more than anything yet i find it hard to reach this place of grace when i still have sin in my face.

Romans 7:21-25

21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

don't let my jazzy words distract you from the seriousness and importance of this post. we must all evaluate our hearts. we must all do a complete walk through to see what needs to be fixed. God sends the Holy Spirit to assist us in this walk through by convicting us in order to create change. God examines our hearts. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows our thoughts, there is no running from or fooling God. He's on 24 hour security patrol, watching us.

Psalm 51:10

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.

Matthew 5:8

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

i like to start my journal entries with a picture. sometimes it can take me quite a bit of time to find the perfect picture but when i see it i know it. the images i chose go hand in hand with motivation to write. it's all part of the party package. everyone loves a good deal! anyhow, i was looking for "submission" images and was led to oriental fans. when i think of oriental fans i think of beauty, elegance, grace, power, submission, illusion, seduction, exposure, deception, secrets, display... and so on. they can be opened, they can be closed. they can be used in many ways depending on their purpose or their "owner's" intentions. without further articulation or explanation just think about it - think about how all these definitions can easily be applied to mankind. i challenge you, and myself, today to look at where we truly stand with the Lord. where is your heart? what are your intentions? what is your purpose?

Romans 6:28

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

if our insides are pure we will radiate when opened up like memorizing oriental fans. how outstanding to be outstretched - to be pushed beyond our human limits to a point where you know the only thing truly holding you up, strong and stable, is God. He is holding you together because you have laid yourself in His Holy Hands. you have submitted to Him so He can open you up!

1 Peter 5:6

Therefore, humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he may exalt you.

Headache or Hellache?

Headache or Hellache?

I find this image disturbing - disturbing in a sense that when I look at it I think to myself "this is me!" I originally intended to search yahoo for a simple picture depicting a "headache" but came across this picture of what I am going to call a "hellache"... The pain and torment of this illustration out weighs - out blows - the pain and torment of the temple throb I feel on the left side of my face/head. I am finding it very hard to even look at to be quite honest but I know I must look at it. I know I must look at it because deep down inside I know I must face the emotions that are arising.

Reactions, many reactions:

A genderless image, a frail frame, weak posture, underweight, trapped and torture, head in hell or is that hell in head, about to break - living in mistake...living while dying.

Hold up. Let me say this again. I was not expecting this on this fine Saturday morning. I had no intentions of seeing this image or writing this blog entry. I have plans for a splendid sunshine Bible study with Mom in a few hours and some caring company but then this shows up during an innocent image search. I was thinking maybe the biggest blow might be a photo of a hammer to the head to articulate a headache but no my friends... this image goes beyond that. This is not a headache at all. This is a hellache and in response I am feeling heartache.

I do not want to get in too deep (in too emotional) this early in coming back to this blog. I am not ready for that and need to respect these feelings. I am, however, going to have to process some of these emotions in private with the Lord which I am going to go do here during spiritual stretching and prayer/meditation walk and talk time with God. I do this every morning but this morning I will focus more on these issues since I am face to face with them right now.

Maybe you are emotionally overwhelmed today too and need some comfort of Christ? For us I have a special gift: some selective Scripture sharing : ) Keyword: COMFORT! Your job? Read, absorb, embrace and give thanks. There is hope in the healing of the Lord. God bless you all today and always. May your hearts delight in the Lord and find the Peace of Jesus.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls. "For My yoke is easy, and My load is light." Matthew 11:28-30

'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

unlock... the block.

Unlock... the block:

It has been six months... six months since I last wrote and within those six months I have thought about this blog with deep remembrance. However, I have failed to move forward with any urges I had to update it. Why? A lot of life changes can happen in six months, sometimes so many you don't know where to begin so you find yourself baffled and wound up in a web of writer's block resulting in writer's break.

Today I am challenging myself a new kind of break - a break of the lock of writer's block but as I lay in bed, delightfully dressed in my hello kitty best but beautifully in blue (thank you), I still don't know where to begin... where on earth to start?

Now, if you were to analyze this situation with a fine tooth comb you may find that even if my head is saying I haven't started - I actually have. The proof is in the paragraphs above. I have already created an outline to write and I feel an open road for my fingers to frollic. Don't you just love the magical connection you can have when thoughts flourish in abundance like a bountiful harvest in your head and wire their way into your fingertips, on to the keyboard and in compose boxes like this? Ah... I do!

I just belted in my belly at that mere thought that this might be the golden "one and only" for now... how it might be another six months before I even attempt another entry. I know that whatever I do I must seek assistance from God through prayer and conversation so He can speak to me and led me as to what's best for me and those who come in contact with me through my You Tube account and blog, etc. Awhile back I was sent a Scripture that convicted me (through the Holy Spirit) to change. I have used it as one of my "Scriptures to live by" since and have presumed a more calm and private life which is why I am a little skeptical about writing now. I don't want things to seem to be "all about me" and whatever I do, considering my state of mind and health, I want to do for the Lord.

2 Thessalonians 4:11-12

11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

There is my conviction, one of the many. I realize I have so many changes I still need to make through the help of Christ and when I am not stable I don't feel I project a health image as a Christian, or brother in Christ even, to do so. I can't fully fulfill my purpose as a servant of the Lord if I am still held hostage to sin. Let's stop there. Let's just say I am praying daily for true repentance and in the meantime doing whatever I know in my heart the Lord is leading me to do in order to minister and bring other's to Christ. I look forward to the day where I am happy and healthy and able to SHINE - to RADIATE - His love to others! There are limitations though right now as I go through catharsis through Christ.

So maybe I am not stable to run the shop but that doesn't mean I can't serve up a spiritual smoothie every now and then, eh? The corners of my mouth rise as I write this. The smirk on my face reassures me to take a deep breath and know that things are going to be okay. I have God... and He has me... according to as much as I am willing to give to Him. My heart's greatest desire is to give Him my all.

Thank you Lord for helping me unlock the block - be it for today, temporarily or for a long time... all I know according to your will and plan for me, always.

James 4:6-9

6But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

trust.

the first definition that comes up for trust through an online dictionary is this:

"reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence."

it seems to me like the quest for trust is only getting more difficult in the sense that it's getting harder and harder to trust people these days. maybe that's because as the days pass us by we are getting smarter and more mature through experience with trust and this experience provides us with more of a clue in on how and who to trust. i've learned that trust comes with an invisible warning label. it reads "caution: guard your heart"

have you ever realized how sacred your life really is? i mean seriously, it's YOUR life no other humans and it is dictated by 1. God and 2. you. not everyone allows God to run their life but ultimately He is the one in charge. He made you and He will take you according to His plan for you. mankind can never hold the power that God does, some think they can and try but sorry folks - a laughable long shot. a lot of people don't trust God for whatever reasons they may have. remember what Jesus said to comfort His disciples:

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

i feel that when we don't have God in our lives we have many voids... holes like swiss cheese! i hear fellow Christians claim that when you have God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit in your life, TRULY in your life, then there are no voids. i believe it but i don't feel it - yet at least - and i want it more than anything. our bodies must be of a home for the Holy Spirit to enter, live and dwell. i am in the process of a clean house sweep, a remodeling of the temple God granted me which i have highly abused throughout my life and i never even really thought of these concepts until i began to walk close with the Lord. i was just so use to worldy ways of living and coping through addiction - or rather numbing through it - that i didn't even realize this entire time i have been hurting God and shutting the front door of the temple HE created specifically for me - in His face. slam ... while i selfishly jepordized and took advantage of my temple while breaking it down. a home can only hold up so long. it requires upkeep and for this kind of home God is the upkeep. how can He get in though when the door is being slammed shut? and who wants to live in a house of havoc anyways? God will not come in when there is sin for sin is not of God and upsets Him. in Genesis 6 it describes how the wickedness of the world through fall of man to sin broke His heart. this passage always upsets me for Him:

" 5 The LORD saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. 6 The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain." Genesis 6:5-6

sure makes you think right? sure makes me feel. i most certainly do not want to keep Him out or go out according to sin that sabotages my salvation. for it is written:

"When I tell righteous people that they will live, but then they sin, expecting their past righteousness to save them, then none of their righteous acts will be remembered. I will destroy them for their sins." Ezekiel 33:13

therefore, repentance is important. it's crucial. it's critical like the breath you breathe - repentance is just as important. God is a loving Lord who forgives snd because of Christ's cruxifiction are sins can be history and our lives through Christ can be victory!

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

this house needs many repairs but faith and trust in God gives me hope that if i continue to let go and let God He will come through as my Holy Handyman and restore and renew what has been broken.

it is hard to trust mankind but it shouldn't be hard to trust God. He wants nothing but the best for us and His intentions are always pure... the intentions and motives of mankind are not always pure and honestly can't always be trusted. with that being said, i am trying more to keep to myself and close Christian friends while living for the Lord so i can live WITH the Lord.

i will leave you with a powerful passage - the kind we should all live by - that was sent to me yesterday under confused conditions. i now understand the message i missed while being caught in my own head.

"11 Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

may this message reach you too and may we all live lives according to what's most pleasing to God.

excuse me, are you Jesus?

The following passage was sent to me today by a Christian friend on You Tube. I was so touched and taken by this that I just HAD to share it.

Excuse me, are you Jesus?

A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago . They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding. ALL BUT ONE !!! He paused, took a deep breath, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned.

He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor.
He was glad he did.

The 16 year old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.

The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.
When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, 'Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?' She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, 'I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly.'

As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, 'Mister....' He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, 'Are you Jesus?'

He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: 'Are you Jesus?' Do people mistake you for Jesus?
That's our Destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace.

If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would.

Knowing Him is more than simply quoting Scripture and going to church. It's actually living the Word as life unfolds day to day.

We are the apple of His eye even though we, too, have been bruised by a fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked you and me up on a hill called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit.

Isn't that gorgeous? May each and every person reading this come to know the Lord (if you haven't already) and start a life transforming journey with Jesus!!! Living for the Lord my friends!!!

1 Timothy 1: 1-6

^"1I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— ²for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. ³This is good, and pleases God our Savior, ⁴who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. ⁵For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, ⁶who gave himself as a ransom for all men—the testimony given in its proper time."

pain & suffering.

laying on the couch, still in excruciating pain and illness since a medical emergency on saturday - my mom askes me during our movie "bamboo in winter", "why do good people have to suffer??? be tortured? sick? why can't the earth just swallow up every cruel person???" i carefully tried to stretch stiff and sore bones to reach the dvd remote to pause our movie.

pause.

i was prepared to answer her question. i was not prepared for what my answer would bring but i am so grateful for it...

now i know and believe that every answer can be found in the Bible. the Bible holds the first word and the last word. it is solid, flawless, the honest truth and can't be changed. it is what it is.

my mind instantly jumped to these 2 deeply-planted-in-my-heart-scriptures when mom upsetting asked why good people suffer. keep in mind this was asked while watching a movie about how some Christians are persecuted, beaten, tortured and killed for their walk with God.

John 15: 18 and John 15:20 - here is the entire passage:

The World Hates the Disciples

¹⁸"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. ¹⁹If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. ²⁰Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. ²¹They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.²²If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. ²³He who hates me hates my Father as well. ²⁴If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. ²⁵But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: 'They hated me without reason.'

²⁶"When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. ²⁷And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.

she seemed to be able to rest her worry after that. later on i began to think of my situation. mom has been really concerned and crying for me and everything i have been going through the last few days. i have never been this ill or in as much pain before. i am seeing my doctors this week for medical testing to figure out what is going on. satan has been trying to rip my faith. however, after answering mom's question i have come to a spiritual conclusion - as if the Holy Spirit blew a gushing rushing wind of HOPE back into my heart. i am left spiritually refreshed and renewed! healed! restored! i come believe and receiving again. thank you Lord in advance! i leave you all with these 4 strong points:

point # 1 - if i think i have it bad think about how then i must remember how bad Jesus had it on earth and on the Cross.

point # 2 - on the cross Jesus's last sentences of His last seven were "Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” And having said this he breathed his last." Luke 23:46 --- In the same humble way do I want to commit my spirit, body, mind, soul, everything to Christ while living here on earth and as He decides my time is up (which I hope is not for a long long long time, smile).

point # 3 - Jesus said to Simon Peter during His third visit post resurrection and after Jesus had declared how Simon Peter was going to die to glorify the Lord: John 25:21 - Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” this brought COMFORT to my hurting soul and aching body.

point # 4 - after all those soft spiritual slaps, or Holy wake up calls, i noticed an entirely new outlook on my health situtation. i said, and am saying, to my Lord, "Father, please continue to use me as You will and if that means suffering on my end and allowing illness on my end in order for You to heal me and restore me through Your might works than i must accept this and endure it." ... my prayer says it ALL.

so i must keep faith strong and know that whatever feels wrong is a test, a challenge, endurance - for nothing i will ever go through can be compared to what Christ went through for me.

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21

beautiful.

natural beauty, inner beauty.

i was in 1 Peter 3 today and came across a passage that i feel has deep underlying beauty to it. it's directed towards women but i'm leaving this post open as a message and challenge to all those who care to read it - regardless of gender.

³Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. ⁴Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. ⁵For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. (1 Peter 3:3-5)

we (humans) express ourselves in many ways, for some people things like flashy clothing and jewelry, hair and cosmetics, body modifications, etc. are used to "represent" ourselves, likes and personalities. are these things really nessesary? most certainly these things do not define us nor do they even create us. they really are just another layer WE (not God) add to our God given flesh. it's like frosting a cake. the cake starts out bare and pure then we add to it: colors and flavors and textures... these things though, they are not used to please God but to please ourselves. some of us become so attached to these things are forms of "self confidence" or "self assurance" that we don't know how to live without them. one must take into factor though that we did not always live with them. the usage and/or dependency of these things developed over time through continued usage. the more you rely on these things the more you feel you need them, the more you use them and the more dependent you become with them. see the cycle?

today i challenge you to break the cycle - if even just for a day. true confidence is found in Christ not in material items. God looks at the heart, always. surrender something today, what shall it be? try going out in very basic clothes or freeing your face from cosmetics... even if it just means skipping the lipstick, it's a start! i size of the step is not important in this challenge, the strength and willpower is. trust that things will be okay no matter what because you have God guiding you and nothing is wrong with or about God!

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

ps. you know you love comfy clothes and a fresh clean face! how great it feels to just relax and be. breathe!

heart to heart: what will you surrender today?