Tuesday, March 23, 2010

pain & suffering.

laying on the couch, still in excruciating pain and illness since a medical emergency on saturday - my mom askes me during our movie "bamboo in winter", "why do good people have to suffer??? be tortured? sick? why can't the earth just swallow up every cruel person???" i carefully tried to stretch stiff and sore bones to reach the dvd remote to pause our movie.


i was prepared to answer her question. i was not prepared for what my answer would bring but i am so grateful for it...

now i know and believe that every answer can be found in the Bible. the Bible holds the first word and the last word. it is solid, flawless, the honest truth and can't be changed. it is what it is.
my mind instantly jumped to these 2 deeply-planted-in-my-heart-scriptures when mom upsetting asked why good people suffer. keep in mind this was asked while watching a movie about how some Christians are persecuted, beaten, tortured and killed for their walk with God.

John 15: 18 and John 15:20 - here is the entire passage:
The World Hates the Disciples
18"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. 20Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. 21They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the One who sent me.22If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not be guilty of sin. Now, however, they have no excuse for their sin. 23He who hates me hates my Father as well. 24If I had not done among them what no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. But now they have seen these miracles, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. 25But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: 'They hated me without reason.'

26"When the Counselor comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who goes out from the Father, he will testify about me. 27And you also must testify, for you have been with me from the beginning.

she seemed to be able to rest her worry after that. later on i began to think of my situation. mom has been really concerned and crying for me and everything i have been going through the last few days. i have never been this ill or in as much pain before. i am seeing my doctors this week for medical testing to figure out what is going on. satan has been trying to rip my faith. however, after answering mom's question i have come to a spiritual conclusion - as if the Holy Spirit blew a gushing rushing wind of HOPE back into my heart. i am left spiritually refreshed and renewed! healed! restored! i come believe and receiving again. thank you Lord in advance! i leave you all with these 4 strong points:

point # 1 - if i think i have it bad think about how then i must remember how bad Jesus had it on earth and on the Cross.

point # 2 - on the cross Jesus's last sentences of His last seven were "Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” And having said this he breathed his last." Luke 23:46 --- In the same humble way do I want to commit my spirit, body, mind, soul, everything to Christ while living here on earth and as He decides my time is up (which I hope is not for a long long long time, smile).

point # 3 - Jesus said to Simon Peter during His third visit post resurrection and after Jesus had declared how Simon Peter was going to die to glorify the Lord: John 25:21 - Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” this brought COMFORT to my hurting soul and aching body.

point # 4 - after all those soft spiritual slaps, or Holy wake up calls, i noticed an entirely new outlook on my health situtation. i said, and am saying, to my Lord, "Father, please continue to use me as You will and if that means suffering on my end and allowing illness on my end in order for You to heal me and restore me through Your might works than i must accept this and endure it." ... my prayer says it ALL.

so i must keep faith strong and know that whatever feels wrong is a test, a challenge, endurance - for nothing i will ever go through can be compared to what Christ went through for me.

"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21