Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Proverbs 3:5 (New International Version)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
lean not on your own understanding. this is exactly what i needed to hear (again) today. i hold this verse very close to my heart and take it out whenever i know i need it. the truth of the matter is that when you are living for God and with God you are not in control, He is. what you see, what you get, how life plays out in front of you is all up to Him not you. if we were in control then our lives would be complete. well they aren't and so we must trust in God to guide us and you know what? no matter how unexpected of an outcome we get that is not in our first favor - God will ALWAYS work something out for us that was meant to be whether we get it or not. it's God's WAY or the highway folks!
today: to make a long story short. i have had plans with my nephew. i have been trying to get together with my sister and the kids all week with no return phone calls. it's not me. it's not our new relationship. it's them and how they operate. they do not return calls well and are terribly hard to get a hold of. i am not the only one who has said this. anyhow, this was one of my only free saturdays since i generally am getting iv treatment on saturday. i dedicated it to my nephew. i had everything all planned and set and was really excited to go pick him up. i show up and no one is home. my brother in law left with him and didn't even bother to call me to tell me he was cancelling. i kept calling and calling with no answer - just like all throughout last week when i try to reach either one of them. finally i take a hint, devestated, and take off.
so now what? i've got a sore thumb like i've been hit with a hammer, disappointed into a hot and bothered mess of confusion. high ho cherry oh, it's not safe to go home. i fear i will go home in depression and start addicting to numb myself so instead of self abuse i decide to do some self appreciation. i book a 1 1/2 hour session at my favorite foot spa and in the meantime head over to old navy to see if they have any sales. big corp, i know i know i know, bad idea but they are one of the only stores i can find pants that fit at this outlandishly low body weight. i literally have one pair of pants that fit and they are like second skin now. i score a new pair of pants + two $5 tees.
as i leave the store i finally get a call from my nephew. i guess his father had him call for him. thanks? sorry but adults are not 8 year olds and should not act like them either. own up and call next time before i drive over there please with my high horse hopes up to see my nephew. i mean seriously, he knew this prior to leaving with him. he knew i was coming. how hard would it of been to call? my nephew tried to put him on the phone but he said no because he was driving and was obviously unwilling to pull over for 1 minute of his day to explain to me what happened and apologize but no, no remorse or nothing. we hang up and i drive over to the foot spa. i have a lovely session with my lady amy. i leave refreshed.
to sum things up: God did not want me and my nephew to be together today. maybe something bad might of happened? who knows, only God. however, He still provided for me. i did not go home and addict. i had some special time with myself and maybe that is what i needed most. i feel so much better now that i stopped trying to understand on my own terms and just accepted that my day was planned out in God's terms, His plans for me. this also shows me what areas i need to set boundaries with my sister and husband. kids are kids but there is no excuse for adults acting like kids and creating distress and unfairness. things have been very wishy wash the last week and i was feeling bits of depression over it in reaction. no thank you. that is not fair for me nor is it enjoyable. i put out more energy last week in trying to coordinate things than i have in a long time and got nothing really in return response. so now i will keep this in mind. i believe in equal energy exchange and that which is not equal doesn't deserve my time. that goes for everyone though. i like equality not wishy washy or one sided. boundaries being browsed now & set to prevent future upset & problems.
but... honey how on earth can i complain over some deals and spa time? special surprises from God. thank You Lord for providing for me alternative blessings, the best ones being a sound mind with compassion and clarity and secure structure throughout my day.
in closing my friends, things will not always go in our favor. this is when you must remember Proverbs 3:5.
heart to heart:
what are some things God has changed for you according to His plans?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
1 Peter 2:24 (NIV)24He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.
Let's get serious and straight to the point. I was told my kidneys are failing. Failing? I will change this to HEALING! My recent bloodwork detected more damage, things have gotten worse and that is expected when a person is still dealing with what caused the damage in the first place... for me that is eating disorders. I start testing on Monday/Tuesday next week, from there we will figure out what to do next according to test results. Now, some people would be really scared. I would usually be nervous but for the first time in my life I do not fear this because I have so much faith in God at this point of my life that I have already come believing my receiving of a full healing. God will get me through this and I accept this situation not as a burden but as a GIFT to strengthen and share my faith and another testimony of God's work. I appreciate all prayers to keep this faithful energy flowing in abundance! I have a deep rooted feeling in my heart, a seed God planted for me, that is telling me everything is going to be fine... that I have gone through enough at this point and God is NOT going to let me or my organs go. It's not my time. I have too much purpose to serve. I feel I must consider this a warming to keep walking with and serving my Lord with healing as my reward. Sickness is NOT of God. Eating disorders are not either. They are of Satan and because of this I rebuke him in the name of Jesus - I demand you to FLEE from my body! You are not welcome! GET OUT! I am blessed by the precious BLOOD OF JESUS that will wash over me and in me, creating in me internal cleansing and purification. I thank You in advance dear Lord for my complete healing. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN!!!
Mark 10:52 (NIV)
52"Go," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.
Heart to Heart: Think of all the miracles, big and small, Jesus has worked in your life as well. Give Him GLORY!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
"He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends."
There is no productive purpose to harbor a lack of forgiveness in one's heart. It will only feed the feelings that are weighing you down.
Let us be delivered from our burdens today. Be wise with the energy you encounter and allow in.
Affirmation Grab Bag! Take Your Pick:
Thursday, February 18, 2010
1 John 4:11-12 (New International Version)
11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
heart to heart:
what's your favorite raw food?
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Blessings for Obedience1 If you fully obey the LORD your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the LORD your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. 2 All these blessings will come upon you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God:
3 You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.
4 The fruit of your womb will be blessed, and the crops of your land and the young of your livestock—the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
5 Your basket and your kneading trough will be blessed.
6 You will be blessed when you come in and blessed when you go out.
7 The LORD will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.
8 The LORD will send a blessing on your barns and on everything you put your hand to. The LORD your God will bless you in the land he is giving you.
9 The LORD will establish you as his holy people, as he promised you on oath, if you keep the commands of the LORD your God and walk in his ways. 10 Then all the peoples on earth will see that you are called by the name of the LORD, and they will fear you. 11 The LORD will grant you abundant prosperity—in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your ground—in the land he swore to your forefathers to give you.
12 The LORD will open the heavens, the storehouse of his bounty, to send rain on your land in season and to bless all the work of your hands. You will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. 13The LORD will make you the head, not the tail. If you pay attention to the commands of the LORD your God that I give you this day and carefully follow them, you will always be at the top, never at the bottom. 14 Do not turn aside from any of the commands I give you today, to the right or to the left, following other gods and serving them.
Curses for Disobedience15 However, if you do not obey the LORD your God and do not carefully follow all his commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come upon you and overtake you:
16 You will be cursed in the city and cursed in the country.
17 Your basket and your kneading trough will be cursed.
18 The fruit of your womb will be cursed, and the crops of your land, and the calves of your herds and the lambs of your flocks.
19 You will be cursed when you come in and cursed when you go out.
20 The LORD will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking him. 21 The LORD will plague you with diseases until he has destroyed you from the land you are entering to possess. 22 The LORD will strike you with wasting disease, with fever and inflammation, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew, which will plague you until you perish. 23 The sky over your head will be bronze, the ground beneath you iron. 24 The LORD will turn the rain of your country into dust and powder; it will come down from the skies until you are destroyed.
25 The LORD will cause you to be defeated before your enemies. You will come at them from one direction but flee from them in seven, and you will become a thing of horror to all the kingdoms on earth. 26 Your carcasses will be food for all the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and there will be no one to frighten them away. 27 The LORD will afflict you with the boils of Egypt and with tumors, festering sores and the itch, from which you cannot be cured. 28 The LORD will afflict you with madness, blindness and confusion of mind. 29 At midday you will grope about like a blind man in the dark. You will be unsuccessful in everything you do; day after day you will be oppressed and robbed, with no one to rescue you.
30 You will be pledged to be married to a woman, but another will take her and ravish her. You will build a house, but you will not live in it. You will plant a vineyard, but you will not even begin to enjoy its fruit. 31 Your ox will be slaughtered before your eyes, but you will eat none of it. Your donkey will be forcibly taken from you and will not be returned. Your sheep will be given to your enemies, and no one will rescue them. 32 Your sons and daughters will be given to another nation, and you will wear out your eyes watching for them day after day, powerless to lift a hand. 33 A people that you do not know will eat what your land and labor produce, and you will have nothing but cruel oppression all your days. 34The sights you see will drive you mad. 35 The LORD will afflict your knees and legs with painful boils that cannot be cured, spreading from the soles of your feet to the top of your head.
36 The LORD will drive you and the king you set over you to a nation unknown to you or your fathers. There you will worship other gods, gods of wood and stone. 37You will become a thing of horror and an object of scorn and ridicule to all the nations where the LORD will drive you.
38 You will sow much seed in the field but you will harvest little, because locusts will devour it. 39 You will plant vineyards and cultivate them but you will not drink the wine or gather the grapes, because worms will eat them. 40 You will have olive trees throughout your country but you will not use the oil, because the olives will drop off. 41 You will have sons and daughters but you will not keep them, because they will go into captivity. 42 Swarms of locusts will take over all your trees and the crops of your land.
43 The alien who lives among you will rise above you higher and higher, but you will sink lower and lower. 44 He will lend to you, but you will not lend to him. He will be the head, but you will be the tail.
45 All these curses will come upon you. They will pursue you and overtake you until you are destroyed, because you did not obey the LORD your God and observe the commands and decrees he gave you. 46 They will be a sign and a wonder to you and your descendants forever. 47 Because you did not serve the LORD your God joyfully and gladly in the time of prosperity, 48 therefore in hunger and thirst, in nakedness and dire poverty, you will serve the enemies the LORD sends against you. He will put an iron yoke on your neck until he has destroyed you.
49 The LORD will bring a nation against you from far away, from the ends of the earth, like an eagle swooping down, a nation whose language you will not understand, 50 a fierce-looking nation without respect for the old or pity for the young. 51 They will devour the young of your livestock and the crops of your land until you are destroyed. They will leave you no grain, new wine or oil, nor any calves of your herds or lambs of your flocks until you are ruined. 52 They will lay siege to all the cities throughout your land until the high fortified walls in which you trust fall down. They will besiege all the cities throughout the land the LORD your God is giving you.
53 Because of the suffering that your enemy will inflict on you during the siege, you will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the LORD your God has given you. 54 Even the most gentle and sensitive man among you will have no compassion on his own brother or the wife he loves or his surviving children, 55and he will not give to one of them any of the flesh of his children that he is eating. It will be all he has left because of the suffering your enemy will inflict on you during the siege of all your cities. 56 The most gentle and sensitive woman among you—so sensitive and gentle that she would not venture to touch the ground with the sole of her foot—will begrudge the husband she loves and her own son or daughter 57 the afterbirth from her womb and the children she bears. For she intends to eat them secretly during the siege and in the distress that your enemy will inflict on you in your cities.
58 If you do not carefully follow all the words of this law, which are written in this book, and do not revere this glorious and awesome name—the LORD your God- 59the LORD will send fearful plagues on you and your descendants, harsh and prolonged disasters, and severe and lingering illnesses. 60 He will bring upon you all the diseases of Egypt that you dreaded, and they will cling to you. 61 The LORD will also bring on you every kind of sickness and disaster not recorded in this Book of the Law, until you are destroyed. 62 You who were as numerous as the stars in the sky will be left but few in number, because you did not obey the LORD your God. 63Just as it pleased the LORD to make you prosper and increase in number, so it will please him to ruin and destroy you. You will be uprooted from the land you are entering to possess.
64 Then the LORD will scatter you among all nations, from one end of the earth to the other. There you will worship other gods—gods of wood and stone, which neither you nor your fathers have known. 65 Among those nations you will find no repose, no resting place for the sole of your foot. There the LORD will give you an anxious mind, eyes weary with longing, and a despairing heart. 66 You will live in constant suspense, filled with dread both night and day, never sure of your life. 67In the morning you will say, "If only it were evening!" and in the evening, "If only it were morning!"-because of the terror that will fill your hearts and the sights that your eyes will see. 68 The LORD will send you back in ships to Egypt on a journey I said you should never make again. There you will offer yourselves for sale to your enemies as male and female slaves, but no one will buy you.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
1 John 4:4-6 (New Living Translation)
"4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. 5 Those people belong to this world, so they speak from the world’s viewpoint, and the world listens to them. 6 But we belong to God, and those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That is how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception."