Friday, October 1, 2010

unlock... the block.

View Image Unlock... the block:

It has been six months... six months since I last wrote and within those six months I have thought about this blog with deep remembrance. However, I have failed to move forward with any urges I had to update it. Why? A lot of life changes can happen in six months, sometimes so many you don't know where to begin so you find yourself baffled and wound up in a web of writer's block resulting in writer's break.

Today I am challenging myself a new kind of break - a break of the lock of writer's block but as I lay in bed, delightfully dressed in my hello kitty best but beautifully in blue (thank you), I still don't know where to begin... where on earth to start?

Now, if you were to analyze this situation with a fine tooth comb you may find that even if my head is saying I haven't started - I actually have. The proof is in the paragraphs above. I have already created an outline to write and I feel an open road for my fingers to frollic. Don't you just love the magical connection you can have when thoughts flourish in abundance like a bountiful harvest in your head and wire their way into your fingertips, on to the keyboard and in compose boxes like this? Ah... I do!

I just belted in my belly at that mere thought that this might be the golden "one and only" for now... how it might be another six months before I even attempt another entry. I know that whatever I do I must seek assistance from God through prayer and conversation so He can speak to me and led me as to what's best for me and those who come in contact with me through my You Tube account and blog, etc. Awhile back I was sent a Scripture that convicted me (through the Holy Spirit) to change. I have used it as one of my "Scriptures to live by" since and have presumed a more calm and private life which is why I am a little skeptical about writing now. I don't want things to seem to be "all about me" and whatever I do, considering my state of mind and health, I want to do for the Lord.

2 Thessalonians 4:11-12

11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

There is my conviction, one of the many. I realize I have so many changes I still need to make through the help of Christ and when I am not stable I don't feel I project a health image as a Christian, or brother in Christ even, to do so. I can't fully fulfill my purpose as a servant of the Lord if I am still held hostage to sin. Let's stop there. Let's just say I am praying daily for true repentance and in the meantime doing whatever I know in my heart the Lord is leading me to do in order to minister and bring other's to Christ. I look forward to the day where I am happy and healthy and able to SHINE - to RADIATE - His love to others! There are limitations though right now as I go through catharsis through Christ.

So maybe I am not stable to run the shop but that doesn't mean I can't serve up a spiritual smoothie every now and then, eh? The corners of my mouth rise as I write this. The smirk on my face reassures me to take a deep breath and know that things are going to be okay. I have God... and He has me... according to as much as I am willing to give to Him. My heart's greatest desire is to give Him my all.

Thank you Lord for helping me unlock the block - be it for today, temporarily or for a long time... all I know according to your will and plan for me, always.

James 4:6-9
6But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.