Monday, January 18, 2010


A friend wrote me earlier telling me that no matter how thin her body gets her face always remains round. I jumped to write back, moving eagerly in my chair and aggressively knowing what I was about to write. "Oh my, can I relate!" You know the ordeal, the whole “woe is me” story… the story about your history of binged and purged bulimic chipmunk cheeks and how you haven’t seen your actual face in years because it's constantly jet puffed and your nickname should be Marshmallow Man. Yes, that same old story that somehow bonds you two together over full faces and a surge of spilled sympathy. I decided to stop myself though before I unraveled a spool of insecurity and instead began to write something along the lines of, “We must be thankful for what we have. There is no complaining when God has us alive and breathing. Some people lose their faces in fires and horrific accidents. We must give gratitude to God for all that we have even if it doesn’t fit our ideal standards. It fits God’s and that is what counts!”

Does God really care how we look? I think not. If we are made from the loving hands of God then do you really think He would see us as anything less than beautiful? God is an amazing Artist and we are His miraculous masterpieces.

Isaiah 68:8-9

8 And yet, O Lord, you are our Father.
We are the clay, and you are the potter.
We all are formed by your hand.
9 Don’t be so angry with us, Lord.
Please don’t remember our sins forever.
Look at us, we pray,
and see that we are all your people.”

We are all created equal in God’s eyes but man to man, flesh to flesh, I feel most of us have lost this concept. Too many of us spend too much time and energy comparing, judging and in jealousy. We harbor bitterness, envy and insecurity in return. This is the exact opposite of God’s Will: LOVE.

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, a holiday with a significant meaning that deserves to be respected. Today we honor a man who fought for freedom, equality and love. I have decided to start a blog today. God has blessed me with many talents, one being the ability to write and reach people. I am a writer by nature. It’ not something I sit and think about or twiddle my thumbs over. I know when it is time to write. Words pour through my fingertips and I just go with the flow. Whatever comes out comes out for a reason. I have been on writer’s block but lately have been gaining mental and spiritual clarity from God and would like to share as I am led to.

I had to think about this one though. I even did some jumping-Johnny-jacks as to whether I could “hold up” with this blog idea. I have a tendency to start things, really get into them and then things get to be more than I can handle and I push away. This is my pattern and I had to take that into factor when considering starting a blog for my You Tube account. My solution? To find balance so I could have my raw cake and eat it too ; ) I will keep this blog open to my thoughts and feelings but not open to feedback/comments as I can’t keep up with the amount I know I will eventually get. This is what I shall call an Open Voice blog. This is something I would like to dedicate to myself, for myself and then be able to share it with all those who care to follow it. I hold no expectations. I may write once a week, I may write 10 times a day. Who knows? All I know is that I want it to be real and raw as that is my intention and method of writing. I like to grab attention, make mouths drop, evoke emotional reactions and because I choose to censor comments for this blog - create solitude space for people to sit with their thoughts in silence and truly open their hearts to receiving whatever message was meant for them through my blog entries. They will not always be easily understable. Some things may be uplifting while others might be disturbing. I enjoy writing, I rejoice in writing. I give glory to God for putting this gift back into my life as it had been a long awaited while.

I feel refreshed now that I articulated that. Articulate is one of my favorite words. You will see a lot of it, get use to it. My day has been a day of therapy, mixed meditations, wind and rain storms and the most beautiful rainbow stretched out across the sky on my way home. When I see rainbows I think of HOPE.

Ezekiel 1:28

All around him was a glowing halo, like a rainbow shining in the clouds on a rainy day. This is what the glory of the Lord looked like to me. When I saw it, I fell face down on the ground, and I heard someone’s voice speaking to me.

Heart to Heart: In honor of today, your questions to ask yourself are…

Where do you find your love?

Where do you find your freedom?

Pink TuTu Twirls for Christ,